The Journey

With temperatures soaring past 100 degrees for the past week it's been easier to stay indoors and wrap up projects such as writing, organizing, and thinking. It's the thinking that has been at the forefront of my days of late. Quieting the mind has been a challenge as I've been contemplating life, my personal journey and the road that waits ahead. Our community has lost several people this past week; a 12-year-old local boy drowned in our river, a 35-year-old motorcyclist was hit by a tourist with an RV trying to make a U-turn on the highway, and the passing of a friend from the Ridge. Life is temporary, uncertain, and precious. When it hits you that you may have only so many more 100 degree summers left, the heat becomes much more tolerable. Yet it has had me really wondering about my own life's purpose and in what direction I want to set my sails for the future. Life suddenly seems short.

I watched a video recently about a fellow who was living his life's passion and has created a successful KickStarter campaign to fund it. It's a video about the cicadas. (Watch below - film maker Samuel Orr - He's started a Kickstarter page to raise $20,000 for the project.)

As a young girl growing up in the Texas Panhandle, summer's always meant thunder storms, hot weather, and tornadoes and you could almost mark the calendar for the day the Cicadas came to town. They'd show up in groves, attaching themselves to the bark of the trees that lined my grandparent's property and were almost within reach of my bed at night. I'd listen to their melodical music as I'd try to fall asleep on those hot summer nights and today as I think about their journey, and my own, it seems appropriate to share their story...

They’ve been waiting, 17 years. But on a warm night in spring their journey begins. For a lifetime they’ve been underground, alone. But night after night they emerge together, as billions of cicadas gather into one of the greatest insect outbreaks on earth.

They cannot bite or stink and their only defense is to emerge in the millions. But above all, they climb, to seek a secure perch on which to transform. And so they begin the final few weeks of their 17-year lives.

For the first few days, the new adults rest and recover, waiting for their shells to harden. Soon after, the males begin calling the females. Their synchronized chorus is among the loudest sounds in nature. The mating frenzy 3 to four weeks, but after the first appears but not all survive long enough to find a mate. And billions do survive to find a mate. Soon after the females lay eggs and post hundreds on eggs in tree bark. Their purpose now fulfilled after a life span of 6 weeks. But up in the trees, hidden in the branches are billions of eggs about to hatch, each about the size of a grain of rice. They crawl to the edge of the branch and drop away. Insects force them to burrow underground, not to be seen again for another 17 years.

Life is really short for these insects; much shorter than my own decades of life, not to mention they are waiting underground for 17 years in the hopes that they might be one of a few who will fulfill their life's purpose to mate, reproduce, lay eggs and then die within a few short weeks. So what do I have to be concerned about? 

My shell has hardened, my song has begun, and I have a beautiful community around me, so I think I'll go outside and do some living now. Triple digits be damned! 

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© Cynthia Stewart is an international speaker and the author of several books, which

include Dream Big! and Creating Wealth on The Web. Through many challenges that she has

faced, survived and overcome, Cynthia knows first-hand how to dream big and has dedicated her life to empower other’s to stand-up, step-out, and reach their dreams. She can be reached at

www.CynthiaStewart.com or cicistewart@gmail.com

Conversations with Gianna

Late night conversation with my granddaughter.

"MiMi, where is Grandpa?

     Honey, he died.

Where is he?

     I'm not sure but I think he's in a place called heaven.

That sounds right.

MiMi, where is heaven?

     Honey, I don't know for sure.

It must be really far."

(The wisdom of a three-year-old.)

Boxes of Memories

As some of you know I’ve recently been inspired to clean out and get rid of things that no longer serve me and get them to people who can use these items. You know the likes – boxes of clothing a size too small that one-day will fit again, or coats for skiing when one no longer skis. These things are no longer of value to me, but for another person, it’s just the item they need. It’s been gratifying to let go of these things I’ve clung on to for so many years and to watch as they go to people who really need and appreciate them.

And then there are those things that you forget about, things that have incredible meaning and value, even if only to you. One of the things I found in a storage container last week was the top of a pair of men’s pajamas. They belonged to my late husband, Calvin. Although it’s been nearly 18 years since he passed away, I still remember buying him those pajamas and how he wore them those last two months until the day he died. Green and navy stripes with small red squares that look a bit like a Scottish tartan. Silky fabric.  Floods of memories…

Recently I came down with what I can only think is the flu as I was knocked down into bed for the past 48 hours. I pulled the top out of the drawer and wore it these past two days but it was only today I noticed it… the thing that knocked me down again, this time to my knees in tears. It was so small I might have missed it. A tiny pin attached to the lapel. I couldn’t see it clearly with out my glasses buy it didn’t matter. I knew immediately what it was and when it found it’s home on my husband’s pajamas, and why.

My husband was a good husband and father. His children adored him, all of them, but he had a special relationship with our youngest son, Tyler who was born seven years after our last child. Being older parents perhaps we were more prepared to enjoy him than when we were both working full time and trying to raise several children. Anyway, I digress… The pin.

Tyler had barely turned six-years-old when his dad was diagnose with terminal cancer. He watched, as we all did, his hero shrivel up and disappear. It was hard times for everyone. Dark days. But a light in everyday was when little Tyler came home from school. I could hear him as he ran up the stairs into his father’s bedroom every afternoon. “Hi Daddy”, he would say softly putting his tiny hand on his daddy’s shoulder. Cal would awaken from his near constant sleep and smile. “Do you need some fresh water Daddy?” he would ask. “Yes please,” Cal would respond.  And so it would go day after day.

One day Tyler ran up the stairs to his Daddy’s bedroom and he couldn’t wake him up, so instead he placed his new Boy Scout pin, Bear Cats, on the lapel of his daddy’s pj’s. “So he’ll know I was here,” he said with a smile.

Today, laying in this bed for the second day in a row I noticed this small pin on the pajamas I was wearing and a flood of memories washed over me—some heart wrenching, some sweet.

Life has a way of moving on when you aren’t watching. It’s astounding to me that in less than a month it will have been 18 years since Calvin died. That sweet boy Tyler now has a sweet son of his own.

I’m thankful for the memories, the good ones and the hard ones.  I’m thankful for a husband who gave me a beautiful family and a good life and in spite of all the stuff I’ve uselessly held on to for so many years, I’m thankful today I kept this silky pajama top and the pin my son placed on it 18 years ago.

© Cynthia Stewart is an international speaker and the author of many books, which

Include Dream Big! and Creating Wealth on The Web. Through many challenges that she has fought and won, Cynthia knows first-hand how to dream big and has dedicated her life to empower other’s to stand-up, step-out, and reach their dreams. She can be reached at www.cynthiastewart.com

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Reflections of 2012

On this eve of the 2012-year and the beginning of a new year in 2013, you may find yourself meditating on your history, thoughtfully reflecting upon your past as I am doing today.  My reflections began early this morning as the sun rose over the tips of pines and I contemplated how I would design this day for myself. This past year has been one of the more challenging in a string of challenging years and I am preparing myself for a glorious new beginning for 2013!

If you are anything like me, you too may be evaluating your past year and contemplating the coming one. In this philosophical frame of mind, you may be able to discern patterns and gain a greater understanding about your path to this point. We do the best we can at any given moment, so looking back doesn’t mean to invite blame and regret. If we find that such feelings come up, we can apply loving forgiveness to ourselves and to any who we feel have hurt us. They were doing the best they could with the information they had. We can look instead with gratitude at the way our lives have unfolded and learn how to make the journey more consciously from this point forward.

By reflecting on your history today, you gain insight into the patterns of your life and in so doing, have the opportunity to shift and align yourself with the life you seek for the coming year and beyond. It may be useful throughout this process to continuously ask ourselves how we created each situation in our lives. On an energetic level, we are responsible for everything we bring into our experience. With this in mind, we may be able to change our concept of certain life-changing events from negative to positive. Perhaps something that seemed to randomly happen to us was a result of our longing for an opportunity for growth or a chance to prove our strength to ourselves. It may have been subconscious or from our higher spiritual level, but if we can take responsibility for these occurrences, we can release any negative hold they may have on us. Looking back today helps you create more consciously for your future. What do you think? What are your intensions for the coming new year?

Whatever they are, I hope you allow yourself to bask in the glorious new beginning of 2013 and perhaps most of all, remember to Dream BIG! 

 Blessings,
CiCi

 © Cynthia “CiCi” Stewart is an international speaker and the author of non-fiction books, which include Dream Big! and Creating Wealth on The Web. Through many challenges that she has fought and won, Cynthia knows first-hand how to dream big and has dedicated her life to empower other’s to stand-up, step-out, and reach their dreams. She can be reached at www.CynthiaStewart.com

PLEASE REFER THIS BLOG Thank you for your efforts. Please forward this newsletter in its entirety to all you know who could benefit and encourage them to sign up! Subscribe to this blog here: cynthia@cynthiastewart.com, with "subscribe dream big" in the subject.

May good fortune smile on you today!

“Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.”
– John Wooden

Peace vs. Perfection

We experience numerous disappointments each and every day. Our expectations go unmet, our plans are blocked by circumstance, our wishes go unfulfilled, and we discover that our lives are subject to a myriad of forces beyond our conscious control. In some cases, our response is powerful because we must invest ourselves and our resources to overcome genuine hardship. In others, our reactions are far more passionate than our circumstances likely warrant. The tension that permeates our bodies and minds when we are late for an event, interrupted at work, or sitting in traffic is not inappropriate, but it can interfere with our well-being in profound ways. When we stop worrying about relatively unimportant matters, we can be at peace and devote so much more of ourselves to what is truly important. The small frustrations and irritations wield such power over us because they rob us of the illusion of control. But every problem is a potential teacher—a confusing situation is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, and difficult people provide us with opportunities to display compassion. There is a natural human tendency to invest copious amounts of emotional energy in minor dilemmas and frustrations in order to avoid confronting those more complex issues that are largely outside the realm of our control. The intensity of our response provides us with a temporary sense of personal power that helps us cope with challenges that might otherwise overwhelm us. But it is only when we let the little stuff go that we discover that the big stuff is not really so devastating after all.

In the stress of a singularly tense incident, differentiating between an inconsequential annoyance and a legitimate challenge can seem a monumental task. Ask yourself whether the emotions you are feeling will be as vivid in a year, a day, or even an hour. As focused as you are on this moment in time, your reward for letting go of your emotional investment may be the very happiness and harmony of being whose loss you are lamenting. Needless aggravation is seldom worth the cost it exacts. You cannot distance yourself from life's inconsistencies, irritations, and upheavals, but you can relinquish your desire for perfect order and gain peace of mind in the process.

10 Steps To Succeed In Your Business

Every year thousands of men and women across America start a home based business, hoping to make money for new car, a vacation, or some new clothes. They sell a little merchandise to a few relatives and close friends. Then they are through. They quit before they give themselves a
chance to learn the basics of success in business. "I am simply not a born business-person!", they often say.

No one is born a businessperson; any more than one is born a doctor or born a lawyer. To be successful in any profession you must learn not only the basic techniques, but also how to apply those techniques. Success on the Internet makes use of all the abilities one is born with, plus all those acquired through education and experience.

If you are looking for a career opportunity or "extra income" to help with the family budget, Internet marketing offers you dream-fulfilling possibilities. However, you must give yourself time to learn the techniques of Internet marketing. Ask yourself. "How long does a doctor study, to become a doctor? A lawyer to become a lawyer?"

There is an old adage, which says "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

The rewards of owning your own home-based business are many:

1. You can be your own boss.
2. You can set your own hours.
3. You can own your own businesses with little or no investment.
4. You can pay yourself more than any boss would ever pay you.
5. You can give yourself regular raises as your business grows.

It is only fair to tell you that there are failures, too. There are people who will not work for themselves. When working for a boss, they rise early, are well groomed, and get to the office on time. However, when they are their own boss, they are still in a bathrobe, drinking one more cups of coffee at 11:00 A.M.

If you can be your own boss and discipline yourself to do what has to be done when it has to be done, Internet marketing offers a most unusual earning opportunity.

THE TEN STEPS

Here are ten steps that will assure your success:

BE A GOAL SETTER. What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to save for college education for your children? A new car? A new home? A better life? You can have whatever you want, but you must want it enough to do the things that have to be done to get it. Whatever your goal, write it down and set a target date for reaching it. Divide the time period into blocks of achievement that are reachable. Work consistently toward accomplishing each day, each week, each month what you set out to do. Goal setting is a must in every area of life. Little is ever accomplished without definite goals.

2. BE ORGANIZED. Each evening list all the things you want to get done the following day. That gives you an organized approach to each day. As each task is finished, mark it off your list. It is amazing how much gets done when one works with a "things-to- do" list. Today a friend of mine, Steve, told me that one of the things he does with his "to do" list is to tackle the toughest things first in the morning. "By facing, and doing the most difficult tasks on my list first, I not only take care of them early when I am fresh, but by getting them off my list I free myself up emotionally. Putting them off until the last on the list wears on me for the entire day," says Steve.

Also, have a notebook, hand held palm device or contact software listing appointments, potential clients, repeat clients, and referrals, and keep it up to date at all times. You will be adding to it constantly.

3. BE ENTHUSIASTIC. Enthusiasm is the high-octane "fuel" that salespeople run on. Enthusiasm generates its own energy. Energy and good health are synonymous with busy, happy people, people who are achieving.

4. RECOGNIZE THAT THE MAGIC WORD IN BUSINESS IS "ASK." In Internet marketing you don't have to wait for business to come to you. You create your own business by asking for it. Ask for business, and then you will close sales. Ask for referrals, and then you always have a full list of potential clients. Be quietly, yet firmly aggressive.

5. EXPECT NO'S. Realize that no's are not personal. In business, as perhaps nowhere else, the law of averages work. Every no gets you closer to a yes. Keep track of your ratio. It will help improve your techniques. Are you getting ten no's to one yes? Is your ratio five to one? Remember, the yes's are your income. Also remember that "no" does not necessarily mean "no." Often a "no" is simply a stall for more time to think. It may be a request for more information about your product or your service. What your client is actually buying is assurance. Assure her/him by your helpful attitude and your complete honesty, that you want what is best for her/him. She/he will most likely respect you and do business with you.

6. SCHEDULE TIME WISELY. A schedule is the road map by which good businesses travel. It takes the frustration out of the day. It assures that the necessary things get done and get done on time. Plan your work then work your plan.

7. BE POSITIVE IN YOUR ATTITUDE. Success in business, as in all areas of life is 90 percent attitude and 10 percent aptitude. All of us must work at developing habits of constructive thinking. Be proud to be in your own business. Small businesses make the wheels of our economy turn.

8. HAVE AN OFFICE AREA. Internet marketers work from their own homes, but it is essential to have a place where you can work in a organized and efficient manner. An office plus a strict working schedule gives you dignity. Both are absolutely essential for efficient operation and accurate record keeping, so important to the success of any business.

I work out of my home and have two children. Certain “rules” are established and often repeatedly taught. One is that if Mommy is on the phone there can be NO interruptions unless there is blood or fire involved—and sometimes it even works! My girlfriend has a red baseball hat. She puts it on when she is ready to start her workday. Her children know that if mommy has on the red hat, she’s not home so to speak. She is at work. You determine what works for you and your family… then stick with it!

9. BE INVOLVED. Both in online communities and offline in your local community. Know what's going on and what's current in your field. Be a part of what's going on and network with other's in your field.

10. LEARN TO HANDLE MONEY INTELLIGENTLY. A regular nine-to-five job usually means a paycheck at the end of the second week. In your own business you will handle money constantly. Internet marketing is instant income and constant income. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to become an efficient money manager.

Deposit every penny collected from clients into a checking account set up especially for its business. Since bank statements show an exact record of all monies collected, and business expenses can be verified by canceled checks, record keeping becomes simple and accurate. Everything except a few "petty cash" transactions can be directly taken from bank statements.

Money saved regularly and put at interest, soon develops a second income in addition to earned income. A long-term goal, which is realistic, is to be able to live in retirement off the interest earned on savings.

Would financial security mean a lot to you? If so, ask yourself these questions:

* Am I honest?
* Do I really like people?
* Am I willing to learn?
* Am I willing to work?
* Am I capable of being my own boss?

If your answers are yes, find a good product and a good company, one that you like, one that fills the need of a lot of people, and go to work for yourself! You can turn dreams into reality.

DREAM BIG!

© Cynthia Stewart is an international speaker and the author of many books, which include Dream Big! and Creating Wealth on The Web. Through many challenges that she has fought and won, Cynthia knows first-hand how to dream big and has dedicated her life to empower other’s to stand-up, step-out, and reach their dreams. She can be reached at www.CynthiaStewart.com

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Thank you for your efforts. Let’s begin today to help a 10,000 more! Please forward this newsletter in its entirety to all you know who could benefit and encourage them to sign up! Subscribe to cynthia@cynthiastewart.com, with "subscribe dream big" in the subject.

May good fortune smile on you today!

I Know Only a Little

Rain is falling in thick sheets, plummeting the roof and sliding down windows. It’s been raining for 48 hours without stopping. The streets in town are overflowing and even here, outside of town on my perch the water is gushing out of drain pipes and washing away red earth.

In my quiet afternoon I began a sorting and sifting of files on my computer and ran across something I’d written three years ago. I thought I’d post it here.

March 2008
I’ve been searching my heart in a sincere attempt to get clear on what is real for me, what I want, and considering re-writing my own personal bucket list. Maybe it's because I woke at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep, or maybe it is because spring is coming, or because the red-tail hawks will be up in an hour, or because tangerines are on sale at Safeway. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling sentimental and warm.

I realize I know only a little, and even that is subject to change. I'm convinced that the Buddha is right when he says that suffering comes from desire and aversion. Running for something, having to have it – and running away from something in an oh-my-god-don't-let-that-happen-to-me way. Of course both are natural occurrences in our minds, so they aren't evil or bad, per se. Nor can we eliminate them entirely. Even if my desire is to have no desires - isn't that a desire as well? The key, in my humble opinion, is not to get attached to either. Of course I want x thing in my life, and of course I would rather not have xy thing! But to think that my well-being is dependent on having or not having them in my life will bring all kinds of continual dis-ease.

Ok, that's my set-up – and here are the things I want in my life.

Ready? Set. Go!

I want an open heart--open to exploring all of those things that I've spent so long either (rather) mindlessly accepting or prejudicially rejecting or oblivious to, to begin with. Open to the truth that I feel I've kept at bay by being so damn sure of myself about "the way things are,” because as things turned out, they weren’t! I want my heart to be open to people, to everyone. To those closest to me – the easiest – but also to those whom I find unsavory for some reason. An open heart leads to…

Peace. To really get it, deep down, that there is pain and there is pleasure and that my center, my core is not affected by whitecaps on the surface of the sea. Both the calm and the storms are inevitable and they will pass, and then they will come again, and pass, ad infinitum – ad morte. Deep, lasting, abiding peace that is unshaken, but not untouched by, what life brings. Which leads to…

Happiness. Joy de vivre! To laugh, to love, to play, to dance, to live! I want to revel in the sunshine of a spring morning, to drink in the profound mystery of a life seen through the eyes of a child, everyday… to smile 'til my face hurts, to laugh until I lay on the ground holding my stomach while tears roll down my cheeks. I want to be the life of my own party! And all of these lead to…

Love. I want to be a lover. I want my children to know the depths that I love them, that I love them not in some maudlin way, but that I'm there for them at every turn in the road to support them... To know that they are loved deeply, intensely, fully – and that this will never change. Ever. I want my friends to know they can count on me. I want my lover to know that he is cherished, treasured, supported, and honored… and seen with twinkling eyes that see only him – and no other.

I want a home on a little land in the foothills and maybe another in Milan, or a flat in the city, or an island in the middle of nowhere. A place all the kids and grandkids will come home to on holidays—laughing and telling stories on the porch while the children climb trees, a fat cat sunning on a summer afternoon, a warm kitchen with inviting smells where the coffee is on and friends stop in for a visit (and maybe a bit of gossip) on a summer Sunday morning. I want the swing set in the yard to have been built by my own hands, waiting for when the grandkids come to play in the sun.

I want to travel and experience new places, people, and things. I want a life that fulfills, enriches, and helps. I want enough money to be comfortable, and not so much that I get too comfortable! I want to write another book, maybe ten… and a movie or two. I want to be so healthy I glow 'til I'm 90 – maybe 95! And I want to make love to my sweetheart, until the moment I die.

I want to feel the sunrise, to experience the rain, to hear the river, to know the earth. I want to learn, to read, to listen, to know, to never complete my education. I want a good book on the porch at sunset, warm breezes and bird-songs and red-tail hawk’s cry as my companions; but not my only ones.

I want a companion, a life partner. To have that special and enigmatic bond that unites two people in a relationship that fulfills, strengthens, thrills. I want to adore, and to be adored. I want to know him and to be known by him. I want my heart to skip a beat when I see him enter a room. I want to bring him coffee in bed, to make love 'til we sweat, to hold each other 'til we sleep, and to wake up knowing it isn't a dream. I want to experience life with him and to never stop growing individually, and together. I want to dance in the kitchen and lay in bed at night, skin-to-skin, watching a lightening storm together. I want to be able to count on him and him to be able to count on me, to know the depth of his stability, his loyalty, his love… and to rest in that.

Some of these are a part of my life now. Others I'm moving towards, and still others seem a distant dream. And now I've opened myself in a way that challenges my fear of being vulnerable. So I should add…I want to be vulnerable without fear. That one may take awhile!
And finally…I want to know more about the people in my life, my community. I'd like to know about their dreams, desires, fantasies, goals, more about the things that are important to them. I’d like to know what keeps them awake at night and what wakes them in the morning. I’d like to know what they think of when they don’t have to think and what secrets they don’t want to tell. I want to experience them, fully.

That is, if they don’t mind.

© Cynthia Stewart

Time

(the story below was a comment in “The fisherman and the businessman” by Benseddik. I liked it so much that I decided to post it)

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.
“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure, what is it?” replied the man.
“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?
“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.
“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”
“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I work long, hard hours everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.”
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00, and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.
“Are you asleep son?” he asked.
“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.
The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.
“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Stepping Back

Life is busy for most people these days. It's easy to get your nose stuck to the ground and only pay attention to what's directly in front of you. I find this especially true when the world is making hundreds of demands on me and there is no time to stop and assess where I'm going with all this rushing and doing. It's times like these when I find it especially important to STOP and STEP BACK!

The delusions of urgency that grip so many humans can prevent us from looking forward, from taking a moment to breathe, and to look into the future and consider the consequences of our present decisions and actions. Yes, I believe like many of you, we only can live in the "now", in the present moment; and yes, it is good to live in the present, yet at the same time it can be equally important to see what lies ahead and set your sights accordingly.

My good friend in Santa Barbara, Renee, once told me, "Put your hands up in front of your face. What do you see?"

"My hands," I replied.

"Ok, now move your hands 6 inches away from your face and tell me what you see," Renee said.

"Well, I can see a little bit of the room, especially in my peripheral vision," I said.

Renee said, "Good, now move your hands out as far away from your body as possible. What do you see now?"

I replied, "I see the wall, the door, couch, painting on the wall, my dog, and you."

With this simple exercise she showed me I was too focused on the problem and perhaps I needed to step back away from the 'thing' I was looking at in order to see the bigger picture. She taught me that if my focus was directly on the 'issue at hand' and not on the whole story, I might miss the opportunity to see what was right in front of me. I've repeatedly found this to be true.

Although few of us can predict the future with any absolute certainty, we can see with greater clarity what lies ahead. I recommend taking a few moments everyday to pause, with intention, and step back a bit and look forward. It's only when we stop and look beyond what is directly in front of us that we can get a glimpse of what's to come. Then we can set our intentions and organize our plans in accordance with what is ahead.

May we all have clearer vision!

CiCi
www.cynthiastewart.com

Falling In Place

Things falling apart was the beginning...of them falling together. For me, at least. Out of a desperate place in which I could not breathe, I realized that breathing was all I could do. Only that. It was not "one day at a time," it was one breath at a time. The pain was so great that I could not bear it, so I stopped trying to. It was in this place that I found peace. Not in knowing what to do, but in not knowing.

A learned man came to a wise master and said, "I think I have a handle on most things, but someone suggested you might add to my knowledge, so what can you teach me?" The wise man said nothing as he began to pour tea into the man's cup. He poured until the cup was full and continued as it overflowed onto the floor. The man said, "Stop! My cup is too full!" At which point the master smiled, and said, "That is right. Like your cup, your mind is too full. Empty your cup, then come back for the teaching."

In "Who Dies," Stephen Levine writes, "Out of the desperation of 'what do I do now?' may come the answer. Because, perhaps, for once there is no quick resolution. At last we don't know. We've known so much for so long that the space in which the truth might spontaneously arise has become too full. There is little room for our true nature...It is in this open, choice-less investigation of the truth that reality presents itself."

I am so relieved that, once again in my life, I don't know. The truth is right in front of me, and it does not consist of a litany of mental processes leading to hard and fast conclusions, opinions, and preferences. The truth is that the truth is not one way or another. I struggle now, but not to get (or to keep) things together. Instead, having allowed things to fall apart, I struggle not to try and get them together again. Trusting they will come, or fall, where they are supposed to… either fall together, or fall apart.

© Cynthia Stewart

A Story of Mother... from a son

Like No Other
Originally uploaded by CiCi Stewart

A Story of Mother... from a son
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea. "I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested. "I know, but you also love her."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she
said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation –nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time".

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ...somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal", is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ...somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring… somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"...somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices… somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother ...somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first ...somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ...somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery ...somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ... or on a plane headed for military "boot camp"

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ...somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ...somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her ....somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the "mothers" in your life.

Where Is Heaven?

Conversations Near Midnight

“Grandma, where is grandpa?

“Honey, he died.”

“Where is he?”

“I’m not sure but I think he’s probably in heaven.”

“Yeah, that sounds right.”


“Grandma, where is heaven?”

“Honey, I don’t know for sure.”

“It must be really far.”



The wisdom of a three-year-old.

NEW BEGINNINGS

STARTING OVER

My "starting over" time was in January--a perfect time for new beginnings don't you agree? A time when most of us start new diets, join the gym, write a new goal list, and so on. New beginnings, fresh, exciting—a great time to begin again. I spent this past New Year’s Day in my new (old) home which sits on its own little perch in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. I just moved home after I lost it to a fire almost 2 1/2 years ago; but that is a story for another time... Today I'd like to talk about starting over and jumping off places. This part of my journey began in 2001 and it has been quite a ride! I found Nevada county early that spring and in spite of driving home on Hwy 49 in a rain storm that rendered me almost blind behind the wheel I couldn't wait to get back up here!! I spent that spring finding any excuse to return and would often drive up alone just to sit by the Yuba and dream... But I couldn't quite imagine how people lived up here. I was completely rooted in my life down the hill. Great job with PBS television, third book just hitting the bookshelves, 18 years of community involvement and relationships. Yet, something in the deepest (and unexplainable) part of my soul kept pulling me up the hill. There just had to be a way for me...

I spent the rest of that spring dreaming about it and the entire summer looking for a place that made sense with my list of requirements. I'd been raising my 5 children alone since my husband's death in 1995 and I still had two young children at home. They were my priority and of course, one of them didn't want to leave their friends. I knew my window for making this move was a small one. If I waited another year or two my son would be in high school, making a move much more difficult. So I spent the summer with a nice realtor looking, and looking, and looking. We never found anything that seemed 'right' and it was getting late in summer and I was getting burned out. Preparations for school were coming up and in light of months trying to make this move work, I decided the message was this - it's not yet time.

So I let it go and got busy preparing for fall and all that comes with it. It was a very early phone call that started me up again. I was half asleep, wrestling with myself to wake up and get moving when the phone rang. The voice on the other end was indecipherable. "Turn on your television!" it said. "What? Why? Who is this,” I asked as I rubbed my sleepy eyes trying to come into full consciousness. It's Susan, "Turn on your television now," she sobbed. "What channel," I asked. "ANY CHANNEL," she said.

My girlfriend had been watching television when the first plane hit the towers and as I turned on my TV and tried to wrap my head around the pictures I was seeing, the second plane hit tower two. I must have yelled out because both my children were in my lap before I knew it and we all were spellbound to that television we seldom ever turned on. Well, you know the rest of that story and each of you probably has your own to tell. This one is mine. That moment, or rather that day, I turned a corner in my life. I realized I had been living in fear--afraid to move, afraid to change, afraid to let go of what I saw as security in my life--but suddenly, watching those towers collapse and people soaring from windows it occurred to me there is no security in this life. Nothing solid. Everything moves. Everything changes.

I'd married my husband twenty years earlier because I loved him and he was my dearest and closest friend... but I also married him because I trusted him. I knew he'd make a great father because he already was one. I knew he adored me because he showed me every single day for two years prior. I knew he'd never hurt me, cheat on me, or leave me. He knew the same of me. What neither of us bargained for is that he would die.

By this time in my life story he'd been gone six years. I'd rebuilt a new life, new career, new friends, etc. And it was good. Why would I leave all of the things I'd worked so hard to establish? To move to the mountains? Alone? It didn't make sense logically, but the pull on my heart was not to be shushed and continued to whisper to me when I was still enough to listen. And then that fateful day, September 11, 2001 and I woke up to the understanding that there was nothing to fear. Nothing to hold on to, nothing to grasp, nothing solid. No reason to fear.

Within two weeks of that day a person crossed my path and led me directly to the house I now live in. Effortless. Easy. Perfect. It was in December, about a decade ago when I packed up my family, my personal belongings, and my pets and moved from our familiar and long-time residence, saying good-bye to wonderful friends, dear family members, and successful business relationships. Leaving a comfort zone I’d lived in for the past 15 years. Why, you may wonder? Because it was time—a time to move forward—a time for change. It was a time for starting over.

Starting over can be scary. Have you ever lost a job, or moved across the country, or ended a relationship? Yes, starting over can be hard and can even be frightening, and even sometimes painful, but it can be the best time of your life. The key is your attitude. While change can be sometimes difficult, change can also be beneficial. New opportunities will be presented for your personal growth and development. It is a wonderful time to re-examine other areas in your life. What other changes might you need to make to live a healthier, happier, and more satisfying life?

Starting over can be exciting! You don’t have to move, leave your job, dump your partner, or change your career to gain the benefits of starting over. You can start over today, right where you are, and begin to create the life you dream of living. When we really understand our ability to direct our lives where we want it to go it’s pretty empowering!

PURSUING YOUR DREAMS
If you are anything like me, you might have postponed making some changes you need to make in your life. What have you put off because you are afraid, have been discouraged by others, or have failed at in the past? Examples might include pursuing an acting career, starting a catering business, or even getting married again. Get up close to your fear and examine it in detail. What is at the root of your fear of pursuing an acting career, for example? Is it your high- school drama teacher's criticism of your acting technique that has stuck with you all these years? Get a different perspective. That was only one person's opinion. Perhaps he/she was having a bad day when they lashed out at you and your work. If necessary, take more acting classes until you feel more confident in your ability.

Honor your dreams. Begin by taking a deep breath and resolving to see it through once and for all. This requires a shift in attitude of course. Act as if your happiness (and your life) depends on it. It does, doesn't it? Promise yourself that you will do whatever it takes to change the things that make you feel like you aren't living up to your dreams, up to your potential to live a joyful, fulfilling life. Do it so that you can look at yourself in a new way - with pride and respect. Prove to yourself that you are not a quitter and that you are capable of creating your own happiness.

REACHING OUT FOR HELP

Sometimes starting over can mean letting go of old ideas, negative thinking, or bad habits. And sometimes that may mean you have to reach out to others for help. The first step in any change is admitting you have a habit or problem in your life that is neither healthy nor conducive to real happiness is, as you well know, the first step to positive change. Whether the habit is smoking, drug or alcohol addiction, or overeating, you may need to get help overcoming it. Physical and/or emotional abuse, while not physical addictions per se, can however be seen as emotional habits which may need outside intervention in order for you to get out of and avoid future abusive relationships.

The second hardest step is asking for help because pride, ego, shame, embarrassment, etc. can keep you trapped in your harmful habits. Someone I know recently said, “My pride and ego are killing me.” And in this case, no truer words were ever spoken. To reach out and ask for help, to admit to others that you can’t overcome whatever it is that stands between you and your happiness or peace of mind can be hard. You need to be very strongly motivated. One way to do this is to keep your focus on the benefits of giving up your habit, of not having to smoke, drink, gamble, or do drugs. Focus on the freedom from your habit. What will you be free to do? Exercise, get out of debt, or pursue a new career?

Your life is up to you. Prove it by kicking that bad habit once and for all. How many of your decisions in the past were made based on whether or not you could smoke, where you could smoke, and how often you could smoke, for example? How much of your life is determined by a habit (or habits) that is keeping you stuck and unhappy? That is even killing you?

DRIVING THROUGH OBSTACLES

It is true that life can throw us curves and it seems that how quickly we can "recover" can often be the difference between crashing and staying the course. I don't know much about racecar driving, but I did once know a driver. He told me that one of the first things they teach you is how to "look forward" and instead of concentrating on the trouble you may find yourself in, look up the road, ahead, to the place you want to go. I have tried to live with a similar philosophy. Not trying to live in the future, but being present in the moment with a vision looking just ahead. Where will I put my next step?

While many people have told me I am strong, I often felt like a coward, without the courage to "live in the moment" when the moment seemed too tragic. I got pretty good at looking at the road ahead. While it served its purpose during those times in my life, those habits or beliefs later created problems for me. I would not describe myself so much as strong as I would brave. Today I too am trying to live in the moment. To look neither too far ahead, nor back, but to sit still in what is… and that is the now. It is a different take on life for me and has required some intentional practice on my part. Old habits can be challenging to break however sometimes the tougher the challenge, the greater the benefit!

My mentor, Arlene, once told me I could start my day over at anytime. Today, if I catch myself ‘acting out’ in an old behavior or bad habit, I can stop and start over right that minute and I must tell you that there have been days I have started over several times!

What about you? If you could create the life you’ve always dreamed of, where would you start? What changes would be necessary to make those dreams come true? What steps would you need to start with? What can you do today? How would you feel at this very moment if you were living that life? Would the effort to make the changes be worth the result?

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

1. How do you feel about starting over? Do you see it as a wonderful second or third chance to make your dreams come true? Or do you see it as just another attempt that is doomed to fail? Check your attitude and get to the root of your fears. Your success depends on it.

2. What dream do you want to pursue but have given up on? Why? Be honest with yourself. Do you still want to pursue this dream or will it no longer contribute to your happiness? If not, let it go. But if it will make you happier, resolving to go for it can inject purpose and enthusiasm into your life.

3. What is keeping you from asking for help? Is it pride? Are you ashamed? Are you afraid? Whatever you are feeling use it to jump-start yourself into asking for the help anyway. In other words, instead of feeling ashamed, take pride in knowing that you are taking control of your life.

While you may have once thought that starting over can be hard or even frightening, you will find that the benefits far outweigh the challenges and that starting over can be a new beginning for your new life.

Why not start today?

CiCi

© Cynthia Stewart


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Cynthia "CiCi" Stewart is an international speaker, author, promoter, and literary agent. She has spent the past twenty years developing a writing career and business' that span the globe. Cynthia is a fiction and non-fiction writer and author of several books including Dream BIG! A Woman’s Book of Network Marketing, and Creating Wealth on the Web. Her short stories have been published in New York Times best-selling books, which include Chicken Soup for the College Soul, Christmas Miracles, Stories For a Grad’s Heart, and Heart Touchers. Her books have been translated into 15 languages and read worldwide. Cynthia writes for popular magazines, websites, and various editorials. She has been a guest on numerous radio and television shows including popular morning show, The View, hosted by Barbara Walters. In addition, Cynthia produced a nationally broadcast weekly show for PBS. With over thirty years in marketing, production, and special events Cynthia has created a way to merge all previous business into a creative and highly successful production company. As co-founder of Sierra Mountain Productions, Cynthia is Director of Production and Development.

New Storm Warning from NASA

Hi Friends,
Ok, maybe the photo is a little dramatic, but we are about to be hit with a big one according to my pals at NASA. Normally I wouldn't post a blog like this, but considering the content, you may understand why I am making this exception. I just got an email from a friend who works with these folks and kids, this is the real deal. They are saying most of us who live in these mountains have never see or experienced the likes of the storm that is coming our way.

GET PREPARED!

Stay safe and warm. My thoughts are with you all!

CiCi



I am forwarding a weather forecast from NASA regarding storms
projected to hit California and the Sierras. The NASA forecast appears
much more severe than the weather updates received from your office.
Although your information is focused on our region, I thought you
might want to take a look at this.
Ed
Edward D Atwell
Emergency Management Coordinator
University of Nevada, Reno
Police Services
1664 North Virginia St. M/S 0250
Reno, Nevada 89557-0250
(775) 682-7247
eatwell@police.unr.edu<>
"Community First"
________________________________



Get ready. This is what the emergency response community is saying:

Currently, the strong El Nino is reaching its peak in the Eastern
Pacific, and now finally appears to be exerting an influence on our
weather. The strong jet has been apparent for quite some time out over
the open water, but the persistent block had prevented it from
reaching the coast. Now that the block has dissolved completely, a
200+ kt jet is barreling towards us. Multiple large and powerful storm
systems are expected to slam into CA from the west and northwest over
the coming two weeks, all riding this extremely powerful jet stream
directly into the state. The jet will itself provide tremendous
dynamic lift, in addition to directing numerous disturbances right at
the state and supplying them with an ample oceanic moisture source.
The jet will be at quite a low latitude over much of the Pacific, so
these storms will be quite cold, at least initially. Very heavy
rainfall and strong to potentially very strong winds will impact the
lower elevations beginning late Sunday and continuing through at least
the following Sunday. This will be the case for the entire state, from
(and south of) the Mexican border all the way up to Oregon. Above
3000-4000 feet, precipitation will be all snow, and since temperatures
will be unusually cold for a precipitation event of this magnitude, a
truly prodigious amount of snowfall is likely to occur in the
mountains, possibly measured in the tens of feet in the Sierra after
it's all said and done. But there's a big and rather threatening
caveat to that (discussed below).Individual storm events are going to
be hard to time for at least few more days, since this jet is just
about as powerful as they come (on this planet, anyway). Between this
Sunday and the following Sunday, I expect categorical statewide
rainfall totals in excess of 3-4 inches. That is likely to be a huge
underestimate for most areas. Much of NorCal is likely to see 5-10
inches in the lowlands, with 10-20 inches in orographically-favored
areas. Most of SoCal will see 3-6 inches at lower elevations, with
perhaps triple that amount in favored areas.
This is where things get even more interesting, though. The models are
virtually unanimous in "reloading" the powerful jet stream and forming
an additional persistent kink 2000-3000 miles to our southwest after
next Sunday. This is a truly ominous pattern, because it implies the
potential for a strong Pineapple-type connection to develop. Indeed,
the 12z GFS now shows copious warm rains falling between days 12 and
16 across the entire state. Normally, such as scenario out beyond day
seven would be dubious at best. Since the models are in such truly
remarkable agreement, however, and because of the extremely high
potential impact of such an event, it's worth mentioning now. Since
there will be a massive volume of freshly-fallen snow (even at
relatively low elevations between 3000-5000 feet), even a moderately
warm storm event would cause very serious flooding. This situation
will have to monitored closely. Even if the tropical connection does
not develop, expected rains in the coming 7-10 days will likely be
sufficient to cause flooding in and of themselves (even in spite of
dry antecedent conditions).

In addition to very heavy precipitation, powerful winds may result
from very steep pressure gradients associated with the large and deep
low pressure centers expect ed to begin approaching the coast by early
next week. Though it's not clear at the moment just how powerful these
winds may be, there is certainly the potential for a widespread
damaging wind event at some point, and the high Sierra peaks are
likely to see gusts in the 100-200 mph range (since the 200kt jet at
200-300 mb will essentially run directly into the mountains at some
point). The details of this will have to be hashed out as the event(s)
draw closer.
In short, the next 2-3 weeks (at least) are likely to be more active
across California than any other 2-3 week period in recent memory. The
potential exists for a dangerous flood scenario to arise at some point
during this interval, especially with the possibility of a heavy
rain-on-snow event during late week 2. In some parts of Southern
California, a whole season's worth of rain could fall over the course
of 5-10 days. This is likely to be a rather memorable event. Stay tuned.


Alexandra Pitts, Assistant Regional Director External Affairs
Pacific Southwest Region
(w) 916 414 6619
(c) 916 804 4967

I Have A Dream!

As Americans, we celebrate Martin Luther King Day each year. A day to honor, not only Martin Luther King Jr., but to honor his commitment to stand for justice, to have his voice heard, to bring hope and light to a people who were in darkness. Mr. King fought his battles to the death, in a non-violent manner, to end segregation and racial discrimination. He was assassinated for standing up and doing so. This year, the day holds even more meaning for me.

This past year I've been victimized, abused, cheated, lied to, taken advantage of, and discriminated against. I've seen first hand what it is like to feel completely helpless against other people, their actions, ideals, and beliefs. I've felt the frustration and pain of feeling pressed against a wall against my will (figuratively speaking) and I've witnessed abuse at it ugliest, abuse of the soul and mind.

And what I've learned, among other things, is non-resistance is powerful. That hate can't take the heat of love.

That forgiveness brings peace to one's soul.

And that nothing lasts forever.

The old cliché' "We've Come A Long Way Baby," may be true, however in many ways we are still standing, over forty years later, in the same darkness that Martin Luther King Jr. was trying to shine a light on. He was an incredible man, an incredible change agent for social justice.

If you haven't ever read it, or if it has been awhile since you have, I recommend reading, "I Have a Dream."

I will include in this post a video of his famous speech.


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You likely will recognized that the changes he was asking for then, in 1963, are still problems we face today. Yes, we've come a long way in some areas, however I've also had the opportunity to watch my oldest daughter, Rachel, teach children who have been terribly abused. She works in a special school just for children who have been so abused they can't manage in life outside this confined, controlled environment. I've also had the opportunity to know those (personally) who work in urban middle schools, where they still see great segregation and poverty.

The difficulties these kids face everyday would be haunting for most of us. Life for them is one of survival. Even here in the mountains I call home I see the children in the public school system. Some of them… lots of them come to school hungry, dirty, sleepy, and scared. Their parents drug abuse, or mental/emotional problems have driven them to live in such a way that is unimaginable to most of us. Some live in cars, some on the streets, and most are just trying to make ends meet. They're doing what they need to do to provide for their families. For some students, school is the only place they will eat or feel safe that day. The playing ground is so very, very far from being equal.

Here are some of Dr. King's words, expressed over forty-four years ago in his "I Have a Dream" speech:

"Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity.

Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."

As I watched Martin Luther King Jr. deliver his speech, "I Have A Dream" I cried, again. Though I've seen it and read it for decades now it still touches my heart. Sadly much of what Mr. King fought for and died for has yet to become reality. But the hope remains… in me.

As we celebrate Dr. Kings birthday, let us not forget what he stood for, what he asked for, and what he died for, and do our part in each of our lives to bring his dream into reality. May we all begin today.

Change begins with me!
And the world wins!

Peace and love,

CiCi
© Cynthia Stewart is a literary agent, an international speaker, author, and promoter.




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